he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
