Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Drunk is not a location!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
