whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
