I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
