Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
