somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
