in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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