We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
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