What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Nobody cheats on THIS.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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