I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
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