Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize
