did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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