Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
