She said her name was "party"
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Life is so much better after having sex.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
