i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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