The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
it hurts more in the daytime
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
