Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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