my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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