I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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