did you get engaged???
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
