I want to have your abortion
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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