lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I touched a dick in church today
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