her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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