hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
