awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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