shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
