wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
