Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
