i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
