So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
