I wanna passion pit in your ass
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
