Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
