At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
