Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
