at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we're making bets on your personal life
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
