in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Acid is not a monday night drug
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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