you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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