Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
