Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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