i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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