And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
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He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
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In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.