he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
