Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water

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  (914): so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water http://tfl.nu/wymr
  Replies (3) Good night (820) Bad night (1031)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray

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  (614): The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray http://tfl.nu/ggtu
  Replies (7) Good night (3110) Bad night (665)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS

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  (917): Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS http://tfl.nu/k9df
  Replies (97) Good night (1844) Bad night (7790)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  my sisters under your porch take her home

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  (254): my sisters under your porch take her home http://tfl.nu/rfs3
  Replies (10) Good night (4930) Bad night (1208)
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  (845): View more from New York

  It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.

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  (845): It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time. http://tfl.nu/ka3h
  Replies (7) Good night (2716) Bad night (819)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  home. puking in laundry basket.

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  (514): home. puking in laundry basket. http://tfl.nu/2psg
  Replies (15) Good night (781) Bad night (3255)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.

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  (806): How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking. http://tfl.nu/9w1c
  Replies (11) Good night (4165) Bad night (802)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.

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  (847): Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex. http://tfl.nu/aztc
  Replies (90) Good night (13785) Bad night (1809)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  she has a santa fetish

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  cute.

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  (267): why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place? (215): she has a santa fetish (267): cute. http://tfl.nu/kuhz
  Replies (18) Good night (5846) Bad night (1335)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.

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  (267): i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough. http://tfl.nu/ija6
  Replies (29) Good night (2140) Bad night (6974)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.

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  (901): I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues. http://tfl.nu/beiy
  Replies (13) Good night (1049) Bad night (2862)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?

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  (+49): The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed? http://tfl.nu/pvwt
  Replies (8) Good night (4082) Bad night (1471)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.

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  (919): Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music. http://tfl.nu/oyb0
  Replies (24) Good night (8034) Bad night (1149)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.

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  (843): My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete. http://tfl.nu/bmnj
  Replies (3) Good night (707) Bad night (568)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.

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  (630): you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way. http://tfl.nu/lvrh
  Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (356)

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