This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
