3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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