i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
