I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
