I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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