Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
