Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
