I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize