I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
