I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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