"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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