i don't like sucking hair
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
