walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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