i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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