her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
