How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
