I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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