Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
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I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
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it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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