I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
