I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
