Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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