Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
