His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You need Xanax blowdarts
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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