Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
