I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
