We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
