I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Randomize
