Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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