Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
